Silent Chaos
by FutureTVwriter
Summary: alternate ending/post-ep for "Murmurs of the Heart" when Ames took Luka hostage and Meg died. Will include both storylines.
1. Chapter 1

Silent Chaos

Disclaimer: If ER were mine it would still be on.

Chapter 1:

Abby stood planted to the pavement below her feet unable to move along with the entire Chicago Police Department. Two shots rung out in the Chicago night and the police sergeant ordered his men to charge the roof. Abby's stomach dropped and tears began to form in her eyes.

"We've got a man down." Came out of the sergeant's radio.

Abby bolted towards the door and two police officers physically restrained her from entering the premises.

"Please I'm a doctor! I can help!" She pleaded with the sergeant.

"Ma'am I'm sorry but you're going to have to wait here."

She stared at the door for what seemed like a century waiting for her and Luka's fate to be determined. She heard the marching of police boots coming down the stairs and braced herself for the worst. A swarm of officers exited the building escorting a handcuffed Curtis Ames.

"Oh my God," Abby whispered under her breath.

They escorted Curtis towards the sergeant and he directed that they put him in a squad car. As Ames passed Abby she stared at him in shock.

"Now he knows how it feels," he said to her as he passed by. "I'm sorry Abby, he screwed up. He admitted it."

Abby lunged towards Ames trying to get a piece of him, "You bastard!"

It took two officers to drag her away from Ames kicking and screaming.

"I have to help Luka," she said exasperated.

"The paramedics are already up there," the sergeant said. "We haven't heard anything from them."

"Well I'm a doctor, I can help them!"

"Ma'am I really don't think you should go up there."

"Well you don't know me." She said as she ran to the house and bolted up the stairs.

Her heart raced and her legs felt like heavy pieces of lumber. She finally burst through the doors onto the roof and ran over to the paramedics who were packing up their supplies and putting Luka in a body bag. She stopped short, unable to take in the scene unfolding before her.

"No…no, no, no."

She slowly approached the body and dropped to her knees next to him, tears streaming down her face. She stroked his hair and put her warm hand on his cold cheek.

A young male paramedic approached her and kneeled down next to her, "Ma'am, I'm sorry. There was nothing we could do. It was a fatal head wound."

She shook her head in silence unable to process what was going on.

"We're going to move him now ma'am, I'm very sorry."

She watched as they packed Luka's body into a body bag and carried him off the roof. The young paramedic stayed behind with Abby who couldn't bring herself to move from her spot on the roof.

"What's your name ma'am?" he asked gently.

"Ab, Abby." She stammered.

"Okay Abby. I'm Ben. Let's get off this roof okay? You can ride with us to Mercy, get yourself checked out too."  
"No."

"Excuse me?" Ben asked gently.

"No, we have to go to County General. We're doctors there." She whispered.

"County General it is then." Ben replied as he escorted Abby off the roof.


	2. Chapter 2

Silent Chaos

Chapter 2:

The ambulance silently pulled into the County General bay. No sirens or lights. Just respectful silence. No one in the rig had spoken the entire ride there. Abby sat in pensive silence staring at the body bag containing her husband. The paramedics unloaded the gurney and rolled it into the ER with Abby following slightly behind. The police had arrived ahead of them and had informed the staff of Luka's death. Abby sensed the tension and grief in the air as soon as she stepped through the automatic doors. A part of her was glad that she didn't have to inform the entire ER of the death of her husband but the other part of her just wanted to disappear, turn around and run. Everyone was huddled at the desk watching the paramedics roll the gurney down the hall towards the elevator. Frank walked ahead and held the door open for their fallen leader. As the elevator doors closed and Luka's body headed towards the morgue the eyes of the staff searched out Abby but she had disappeared from her spot in front of the triage desk.

"I'll go look for her," Neela said to no one in particular as she walked away from the desk. Frank looked around at the travesty of despair before him. Meg had died, Sam and Alex had been involved in a terrible fire, and now worst of all Luka had been shot and killed. He looked around at his co-workers who didn't know what to do with themselves and felt that the world had dealt the ER a tragically bad hand this evening.

* * *

Neela entered the lounge and found Abby seated on the couch. They made eye contact and Neela sat down on the couch next to her.

"I just called my neighbor," Abby said, "She said she'd keep Joe awhile longer…"

"Abby…" Neela began.

"I don't know if it's better that he probably won't remember this or worse that he won't remember his father…"

"Abby, I—"

"I just saw him, I just talked to him, touched him…" she was rambling incoherently, had lost the ability to form sentences.

"Abby I know what you're going through." Neela finally got a word in. Abby closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry that you do." She whispered as she stood up from the couch.

"Where are you going?" Neela inquired.

"I just need to be alone for awhile." She replied as she walked out the door.

* * *

Sarah wandered through the hospital corridors aimlessly. Tony had left her in the trauma room to call Meg's parents and inform them of her death. She walked past the admit desk unnoticed by the many staff members deep in conversation about the events of this horrible night and wandered into the ambulance bay. Abby was seated in the back of an open ambulance and Sarah made her way towards it.

"Can I come in?" Sarah asked tentatively.

Abby was snapped out of her painful thoughts by the small, sad figure standing before her.

"Free country," Abby replied.

Sarah clambered into the rig and sat across from Abby.

"What're you doing here so late?" Abby asked.

"My mom, she took too much of her medicine and she, uh, died about an hour ago."

Abby was stunned by the ongoing tragedy of the night. She had lost her husband before she was even ever able to really call him her husband, her son had lost his father before he could even create memories with him, and now this poor young child had lost her mother before her very eyes. "Sarah, I'm so sorry."

Sarah nodded her head in thanks. "Why are you sitting in here?"

Abby wiped her hot tears on her sleeve, "My husband died about an hour ago…he was shot."

"I'm sorry," Sarah said earnestly.

They sat together in silent understanding, words were not necessary, only the company of someone going through the same thing you are at the same time.


End file.
